WordUp by Chad Gramling

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There are some people I just struggle with when I find myself in conversation with them. Time and time again, I come away with dire frustration and assume that nothing resulted from our meeting.

For some reason, we just don’t click and I typically feel like they don’t hear a single word I said. I often wonder if these folks are silently humming cartoon theme songs in their heads while we chat.

I then fret over the conversation, worry that the items we discussed will not get achieved and even consider potential bad outcomes due to the miscommunication. I try to talk via telephone, thinking that might be different since most of the non-verbal communication queues are removed from the dialogue.

When that doesn’t work, I resort to e-mail. That’s perfect, right? If they didn’t understand it on the first read through, they can re-read it right?

Alas, I most often find that regardless of the communication method, we just don’t click.

But why does it make me so mad?

Probably because I only consider the way that it affects me. I am pretty sure that I am thinking in the back of my mind “I don’t have time to sit and hold your hand” or “Why don’t you get this? I do” or “Can’t you see I am as frustrated as you?” or even “I know you are trying to get me to fall in line with your agenda, but I am not going to give you a different answer no matter how often you ask.”

So here comes my social experiment (or self-improvement goal – depending upon how you look at it): From now on, I am going to try to take myself out of the equation. I will make every attempt to put myself in the other person’s shoes to see their vantage.

In doing so, I’ll need to start asking them questions like “What part of this is causing your confusion?” or “Tell me what you are thinking right now” or “Where do you think we should go from here.”

At the same time, I’ll make every effort to stay calm and remember that it is not about me. It’s the civil thing to do (me thinks).

[tags]Civility, Communication, Conversation, Selfishness[/tags]